tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67830832012-02-16T17:42:08.734-05:00An alien in New York types through the frustration of "An Earlier Incident"D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.comBlogger741100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-36125896384910603722007-06-07T15:00:00.000-04:002007-06-07T16:15:08.284-04:00

So...Been a while. You could say I have been preoccupied ( obviously).Life has been fun, and for some reason the whole bloggin' thing, well, fell by the wayside, or perhaps even the East Side.This city sometimes gobbles you up, rolls you around her mouth, puckers and licks you, then returns you to the spot you were. Or perhaps that is just life, and NYC has nothing at all to do with it at all.

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-29158510409215909602006-11-11T11:33:00.000-05:002006-11-11T11:49:57.943-05:00

What are you doing this coming Wednesday? You are coming to see me of course!!You will get to hear stories by other confused foreigners too!Buy me a drink, I will need it.!! Multiple !!'s are an attempt to hide my sheer panic !!!!!

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-53859101184027233762006-11-10T19:40:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:57:16.204-05:00

People get scared of using the word GOD. Because God has been stolen, and attached to some things very un-Godlike.God is not judgment. God is not hatred.God is not a figure, draped in white, lounging in a cloud, reaching out like E.T phoning home.At least that is not my GOD. God (for me) is a series of moments, that maybe fleeting or long-lasting (if I am lucky). God is that feeling I get when I

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1161416708479436052006-10-21T03:17:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:33:06.876-05:00

I know it's an awfully silly blog title . For starters Steve's surname is AustIN. Silly, Silly!.But I did get a little giggle happening when I imagined a bonnet wearing Jane Austen, BeepBeepBeepBeeping her way through a manicured English Garden. Doing all sorts of ye olde worldy things, bionic needlework, bionic romance writing, bionic high teas and such.Would a Bionic woman in the late 1700's be

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1161095781148155272006-10-17T10:25:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:33:06.794-05:00

It's been a long time...My absence from this virtual place has not been because there has been nothing to write about.The opposite is true. Too Much. Well not 'Too', but at the very least 'Much'.As this is my first post in clearly sometime, I do not want splay it all out now. Instead I will see what percolates to the top, and froths over the edge, and into here.Adventures of many kinds. New

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1115251164038866352005-05-04T19:59:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:33:06.718-05:00

callme Originally uploaded by fluffmuppet.I went to lunch in Manhattan the other day, with 2 of my closest mates.It was a funny lunch, one full of innuendo, lesbian humour and double entendres. On the table next to us was this cute woman, with red highlights in her hair and red cord pants. She seemed amused by our antics, our references to dildos and breasts between mouthfuls of korma curry and

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1113949041052541922005-04-19T18:17:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:33:06.631-05:00

"...an intrinsic Moral EEEEEVIL"That's what the new old Pope has to say about me and my lifestyle.What does a 78 year old ex Nazi Youth Member know about Intrinsic EEEEVIL ? More than me I reckon.I am not saying he is Evil, he is probably a very interesting man with some really funny stories. Let's face it, he isn't going to be around that long unless they come up with the Cryo-Pope-Mobile.

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1113875993519357712005-04-18T21:59:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:33:06.445-05:00

The sunset around here is cool, in an urban way.Everyone is out on their stoops and the bodega is more like a roller disco. Kids hang out front with boom boxes, wearing old style white leather skates.There is this gaggle of boys that sit on the corner and talk to every girl who walks by.I know that one of them is called Bevan as once he insisted walking me home ( 5 houses down)he wanted to carry

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1111108486093234842005-03-17T20:14:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:06.029-05:00

dmb Originally uploaded by fluffmuppet.My landlord is 80 something, her daughter 40 something lives in the basement most of the time. Her daughter is a bit of a train wreck, in a civilized controlled way, this I figured out when she tried to give me a nugget of nose candy because I did her a favour. I dubbed a copy of 'All That Jazz' for her one day... She must really dig that movie I

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1111031476718292602005-03-16T22:51:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:05.729-05:00

I saw two (2 2) ducks shagging in Prospect Park, I guess that means spring is here.Not the most eloquent of Spring signalings, no melting snow drifts, no budding tree branches. Poetic it was not, straight to the point, it was.Sex, people, it's all about sex.To take my mind off the fact that I now have to proclaim celibacy in order to retain a level of self respect, I am throwing a party. A

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1110592415560826932005-03-11T20:52:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:05.569-05:00

Been looking at my foot marks on the wall, a tad grubby, up there on the horrid beige paint.I like to lay on my bed with my legs angled, wiggling my toes, staring up at the ceiling that is now the floor.I imagine walking through the house upside down, throwing a leg over doorways and light fixtures.Lionel Richie was onto something.I need a bad 80's leather jacket and big hair."ooh, what a feeling"

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1110232753064248352005-03-07T16:36:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:05.403-05:00

Been away, not physically.Back now.I've been thinking a lot about attraction. How it works, or doesn't.Attraction doesn't creep up on me, no, for me it is a Bruce-Lee-Flying-Through-the-Air-Kick-to-the-Solar-Plexus type of thing.Haven't experienced it in years. In it's absence I have tried various ways to cover the gap it has left.I have tried to talk myself into attraction, and I am pretty

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1108829971498499502005-02-19T11:18:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:05.222-05:00

It's hard work to be flippant.You might not think so, but it is. Flippancy is the art of not letting anything get too close, laughing the most intense shit off, because it is intense shit.I excel at it. I am the Queen of Flip. Hand me a crown and septor and I shall knight the masses.Perhaps it is a gift too. Like a physical trick you do at parties to make people laugh.Laughter is the key after

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1108587523230281492005-02-16T15:58:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:05.140-05:00

I am a non smoker too. Occasionally I'll roll my own and have a few puffs, not sure why, I guess I feel cool when I do it.Sometimes I watch my reflection to see just how cool I can look, how to hold my fingers, how to exhale ( that's the kicker). Anyway,I found a packet of rolling tobacco amongst my underwear ( in my undie drawers, not my undies)and went out back to smoke it. I was minding my

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1108503524988893762005-02-15T16:38:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:04.895-05:00

DUNNY Originally uploaded by fluffmuppet. It's one of those things; one of those little things that can drive a person mental.My New Roomie leaves the toilet seat up constantly...Now I am not sure how to bring the subject up, do I leave a note on the cistern?Should I sit him down at the kitchen table and mention in flippantly " Can you pass the sugar and put the toilet seat down when you

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1107620324288558052005-02-05T11:18:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:04.638-05:00

Once apon a time, quite a while ago there was the 'Dog Club'. This was the place where all dogs went to hang out and socialise; in fact you might have seen some pictures of it, dogs playing pool and poker together. All the dogs went there, big dogs, small dogs, pedigrees and bitsa's (bitsa this and bitsa that). Thing is, dogs tend to be a bit stinky, flatulence was big problem in the club and

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1107456689620473262005-02-03T13:30:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:04.462-05:00

One my way to work I take the 2 train. New carriages, no grafitti, dot matrix display for the time and what station is next, blah blah, they are pretty nice in all. I walk to the end of my platform as usual, I always get a seat in that bum carriage. The train arrives. I step on and sit down. It takes a while to register, but there is an unpleasant smell. It begins to increase the longer the doors

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1107114232597110212005-01-30T14:43:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:04.285-05:00

I met Meryl at the Cubby Hole for a drink. She had been calling me for over a week now but I had been screening my calls. The only reason I answered the phone when I did was because the cable company was going to contact me, before I knew it I had agreed to the date. It really wasn't my intention, but she is rather persuasive when she wants to be. After a few Killian Reds, Meryl became very

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1106883577439632092005-01-27T22:39:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:04.215-05:00

My mum saw this and thought I was portraying myself large because I've been eating too much... NO I AM THE ICE HULK! Just in case anyone else was wondering.

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1106880025408890662005-01-27T21:38:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:04.051-05:00

This is Part 2 of my funeral home visit. Putting on green scrubs makes you feel professional, at least it did for me. Before I felt like I didn't really belong, but now with my splatter screen, autopsy gloves and booties I looked the part. For a moment I stared at myself in the mirror of the prep room wardrobe, outwardly I indeed could have been a mortician, on the inside however I was playing

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1106114628882595662005-01-18T23:55:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:03.971-05:00

I know I should write part 2 of my funeral home visit, but I am not in the mood to write about embalming; I don't feel like explaining what the dead can tell you and believe me when I say they can tell you plenty. In a way they are far more honest than us, they have no time to make up stories, the irony is neither do we but few of us really think about that. We get so wrapped up in unimportant

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1105727374202836142005-01-14T13:01:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:03.792-05:00

I haven't blogged in a while, and it's not for a lack of having something to blog about. In fact I have something very strange to blog about, something that I witnessed on Saturday that has effected me greatly, yet when I have attempted to write about it (several times now) all I do is go into minute detail without really capturing the event. I'll try again. On Saturday I went to a funeral home '

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1105038588001626672005-01-06T14:09:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:03.554-05:00

Get Out!Get Out... Out Damned Thought, Out of my Head. Nothing worse than a repeating thought, a stuck record of monsterous proportions, bouncing like a warped LP. Or is it more like a series of thoughts, each a small avalanche of negativity that continues to obliterate the cute swiss chalet of my sanity. I'll pretend I am James Bond at the start of 'The Spy Who Loved Me', I will ski my way out

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1105030327439507292005-01-06T11:52:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:03.455-05:00

New Years Resolutions are crap. We all know that, hence the gym membership ads in every paper press item you pick up. They know its a crock too, you'll go a few times, you might even buy some lyra pants 3 sizes too small to aim toward. Then your resolve will become jelly like your legs after the Stairmaster. This is why I am going to focus on something far more managable... My New Years

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1104889054935749602005-01-04T20:37:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:03.369-05:00

She tells me I am funny, leaning close to my ear with a whisper. Her breath is warm and tickles my skin, all I want to do is rub my neck vigorously where she has been. I just don't want her to think I didn't enjoy it, like wiping ones mouth after a kiss. I talk myself through it, focusing on how dark her eyes are, all pupil and lash. She has a splash of freckles across her nose, I see a miniture

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1104782415497835662005-01-03T14:43:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:03.138-05:00

2005... So far, so good. I settled for snogging myself at midnight, no let me rephrase that, I chose to snog myself. Given 2004's heartache-iness, I have decided that I can't go wrong snogging myself. Of course it's all metaphoric, snogging oneself is an impossibility (currently) and somehow the thought of doing so seems more inappropriate than masturbation. This year had comprised of me doing

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1104531046148478562004-12-31T16:52:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:02.983-05:00

The first time I saw the MTA Subway map of NYC I was struck by how much Manhattan looks like a droppy penis. Like a high school anatomy cross section chart that always got giggles in 'Human Relations' class, Brooklyn even makes for a reasonable bum. Everytime I see an MTA map I think that. It's a constant brain stutter that I have learned to live with, I may not giggle outloud anymore but I do

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1104373631772590742004-12-29T21:09:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:02.612-05:00

I have house guests. I don't know them, they are friends of my currently away roomie. They are pretty and wear funky clothes. They speak Spanish Having visitors makes you do silly things. You want to make a good impression, well at least it does that to me. I bought good coffee so they would think I am stylish. I bought a new hat, for the same purpose. They had been hogging the bathroom and I

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1104351893812007392004-12-29T15:15:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:01.297-05:00

This is a post dedicated to those Hotdogs that roll, roll, roll away for hours on end at your local cinema. This is also about the poor bastards that eat them when they are already in a sickly way, then go into a delirious state toward the end of Oceans 12. It's a celebration of classy vomiting out of a car on the way home. When I say classy I am not being sarcastic. Nope, it was swift, neat

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1104176834811443142004-12-27T14:25:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:33:01.045-05:00

Ever get the feeling you should gaffer tape your mouth shut. Not for S & M, but to stop yourself from spurting forth how you really feel. Now some people will tell you that it's great to say what you feel... It's not true, because sometimes what you feel is fleeting and you might not feel it in a few moments, then you are stuck with what you said in a moment of bitchiness or confusion. It

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1103844764874143352004-12-23T18:26:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:59.953-05:00

It's all gone too far. Kids sue schools because they aren't allowed to sing 'Holy Night'. Schools sue teachers for saying 'Happy Chanukah'. Kids sue each other over who who said 'Merry Christmas' in the hallway. Perhaps to save all the confusion and ill will, we should just roll it all together into some slick, sick celebration that offends everyone equally. This is my idea.

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1103842573563627262004-12-23T17:56:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:59.782-05:00

This time of year is crazy. Everywhere I turn there are cheap lookings Santa's and tacky ornaments. Kinda makes me want to run away for a little while.

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1103759909493994262004-12-22T18:34:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:59.523-05:00

I wish I had a gold sequined halter neck top to wear to the Scissor Sisters, alas I was all out and had to make do with knitted arm cuffs. Didn't stop me from having one of the bestest nights in a LOOOOOOOONG time though. May the Disco Gods Bless the Sisters, for they truly rocked out. There was a moment when I honestly thought I was under the influence of some illegal substance, for my feet

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1103387196136424152004-12-18T11:26:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:59.364-05:00

I really want someone to help me make Tampontim T-shirts. Anyone game?

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1103384143492979482004-12-18T10:18:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:59.288-05:00

Over the Summer I sat in my backyard a lot. Drinking strong expresso coffee and smoking clove cigarettes. In retrospect I realise I was doing some hardcore thinking. Sitting on the concrete steps, taking in the vibe of my new house and settling into singledom, sometimes wondering if what mum had told me about sitting on concrete and heamerrhoids was true. I was never alone out there though,

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1103218348982943292004-12-16T11:40:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:59.089-05:00

Winter arrived yesterday. I know that because I had to buy some gloves off a street vendor, this time the man didn't ask me to breed with him, which was perhaps a little disappointing. This is a dull blog topic I know... So I will tell you about my subway ride back to Brooklyn later that night. Me and Sam are on the 2 train cruising under Manhattan when we are lucky enough to get a seat that

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1103120962612897512004-12-15T08:45:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:58.953-05:00

Today I was woken up. Dragged from the cradle of sleep by the elderly cat that I am sitting. In the morning her 'meows' are like nails on a blackboard, abrupt and shrill. She wants me up, my room is no fun with me sleeping. She wants my warm lap and the tap tap of my typing. She wants me to get up and blog. Her name is Fishbone but it doesn't suit. Fishbone is not an old ladies name. This

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1103071773762077572004-12-14T18:56:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:58.819-05:00

Put your dukes up. It's fighting time... I realise that I can be a soppy fucknuckle at times. Hopelessly romantic when it would be more appropriate to become a flipped out psycho maniac. The best I can do is say something slightly caustic, then turn around and ask to be forgiven, yet all I really want to do is slam a door and mean it. Why can't I flip out and totally lose it. Is there a way I

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1102977999082515202004-12-13T17:46:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:58.743-05:00

I didn’t expect to meet Anyone at the party, when I say ‘Anyone’ you know what I mean don’t you? Anyone as in Someone. It’s not like I really want to meet Anyone… I am feeling pretty cool about being just me, on my ownsome. There is something very liberating about redefining yourself after a breakup. A clean slate ( alas a little scratched up and chipped in places) to write out what you want

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1102960525345263012004-12-13T13:55:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:58.482-05:00

Yesterday I found myself in a stretch Expedition Limo cruising through midtown. I rolled the window down just enough to ash my rollie cigarette. At red lights you could see people trying to get a better view of the sheila behind the partially rolled down mirrored window. I tried to exude fame out of my exposed forehead and wrist. I even wore my newly knitted wrist cuff that I feel also exudes

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1102607902223810132004-12-09T10:57:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:58.333-05:00

Click on the title to watch something funny. The intro takes a minute, so hang in there.

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1102449671988669702004-12-07T15:01:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:58.249-05:00

For some reason I was compelled to draw this.

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1102442030309379812004-12-07T11:30:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:58.180-05:00

...Like a dreidel, baby, right round, round round. Happy Chanukah! Goyim and the Chosen alike. Once I saw a burlesque show where the dancer did her thing to the 'dreidel song' intercut with Dead or Alives biggy. She pulled gelt out of her panties and threw them into the audience, she was pretty hot from memory, my soft chockie coin attested the fact. Made me think about becoming a burlesque

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1102290827106064922004-12-05T18:51:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:57.978-05:00

I have this beautiful friend. She’s one of the most talented women I have ever known in my life. We seem to have this Mutual Admiration Society going. In each other we see traits that we wish we possessed, it’s like we see greatness in each other, but not so much in ourselves. It’s a funny thing. "You’re so fucking talented" "No, you are!" "No, you are!" ***** Contradiction and compliments,

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1102009317749536422004-12-02T13:26:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:57.905-05:00

CBS and NBC think so... Check the ad out here, is it too hardcore? Jesus Christ was/is TOO lovey dovey it for some channels, yet all those erectile disfunction ads go down easy. I don't get it.

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1102004440371868332004-12-02T11:20:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:57.836-05:00

I know I am a few weeks late on this but I have been avoiding politics in my blog because I get the shakes when I type the name the current President and feel sickly when spelling the party he belongs to. So I am gunna have a bit of spit at Albert R. Gonzales. How can this man become Attorney General, he is the author of a controversial memorandum to Bush labeling provisions of the Geneva

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1101839664647723392004-11-30T13:22:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:57.671-05:00

I love my friends. I especially love them when they use Aussie colloquialisms in casual conversation. Those little words from my homeland, slipping from the mouth of an American is blissful. I feel like I am propagating little Aussieisms in the boroughs of New York City and when I hear those planted words coming back to me, it lulls my homesickness and cocoons me. Silly little words that make me

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1101837448293617542004-11-30T13:04:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:57.530-05:00

I wanted to write about this earlier, as soon as I got in the door from my Thanksgiving getaway, but I was still in shock about it, so I had to wait a few days. The story goes like this... I was walking back from the Q train stop, lugging my TG backpack and guitar case. Craving a high colonic and a good lay down. I love that Q train, it gets me home fast, but I have to walk for a good 10 minutes

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1101734635125930142004-11-29T08:22:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:57.446-05:00

I have never, ever eaten so much food in my life. The last 5 days have been a blur of veggie ham and pumpkin pie. A right smorgasbord of endless dishes and leftovers, shuffling around the kitchen in a daze with another plate to fill, why choose between the quiche, gravy and biscuits or scallop potato when you can have them all. The relentlessness of it all was mindboggling. Good though. A cabin

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1100974461699817662004-11-20T13:50:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:57.383-05:00

Bag Girl: I had forgotten about her until recently, I was having a late night sketchfest when all of a sudden she appeared before me in 2B pencil. Bag Girl had her 15 minutes of fame in Melbourne,1995. She was covered in coffee mug rings and sticky taped to the wall of my shared house in Flemington. In her last strip she came to an early demise ( or at least it seemed) at a Cranberries concert,

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1100835622222029142004-11-18T22:37:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:57.196-05:00

One time when my folks were away my boyfriend thought up a game ‘Draggin’. For this game we needed a few pairs of overalls. Luckily my dad was a marine engineer, so in the shed was a motherlode of seriously hardcore overalls. Some white, some danger orange. Draggin’: Equipment Needed: 1) Aussie Muscle Car, preferably a Holden Monaro, but a Ford V8 will suffice in an emergency. 2) Thick

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1100832796691846672004-11-18T21:53:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:57.134-05:00

The Creature from the Black Lagoon is kinda sexy in a slimy way. I have a pic of him on my wall holding a screaming chick. Personally I think she is on a winner with him. He has gills, he can breathe when his mouth is busy. I would date him.

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1100828593346460502004-11-18T20:43:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:56.993-05:00

I grew up in a small country town… Luckily my parents went overseas when I was in primary school, taking me with them of course. That experience made it a hell of a lot easier to cope with that ‘small country town’ for I knew that there was in fact a big world out there, past the cow paddocks and dairy farms. Still it was hard at times, I never felt like I fit. Though I came from local stock,

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1100544125702780372004-11-17T13:42:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:56.761-05:00

When I first arrived in this city I had never ever been to a 'Real' Lezzo Bar, the closest I had come was those Women Nights at various establishments throughout Australia. The first one I went to was in Melbourne when I had freshly ran away from a mortgage and fiancee, jumped on a plane and flew 3000km back to the state of my birth. Not too sure what the hell I was to do next I found myself

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1100704274490147192004-11-17T10:11:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:56.822-05:00

" flippity woohooo hehehehhe" So she slurred a little at the podium of the American Music Awards. Anna was the highlight of the night, someone give her an award...Shit give her one of Usher's, he's crap in comparison. In 20 years no one will remember him, Anna Nicole on the other hand will be remembered for lifetimes to come. I can't help but adore this woman. Everytime I am fortunate enough

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1100540617614026602004-11-15T13:34:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:56.631-05:00

1) Laptop 2) Digital camera (5 megathingies or more thank you) 3) Hot Snog 4) Hot Snog 5) Hot Snog After watching this I guess I shouldn't wish for an IBM Thinkpad...?

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1100537054903821692004-11-15T10:58:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:56.571-05:00

Sanga's = Sandwiches. Had a fun weekend, cheers to Miss Chris and Miss Kiri you are both my new bestfriends, which usually means you will get free massage and yummy pasta from me. We went to a party across from Kiri's pad, an Alice in Wonderland party no less... I promptly fell down the rabbit hole and didn't get home until 5:30am. I think I massaged 60% of the party goers, a trade for other

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1100308918121976832004-11-12T20:12:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:56.441-05:00

I think I am a bit drunk. I am meant to be doing art but my eyes feel funny. Just then I played with some oil paint and realised I had no idea what the hell I was doing, if I do touch the canvas with this loaded brush I just know it will end in tears. I am thinking about laying on my bed and watching 'Bound', it's a sad state of affairs. This is the kind of night I want to play Boggle, anyone

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1100203938816469812004-11-11T15:12:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:56.244-05:00

I think I was a Teenage Bogan. Bogan= 1. (Australian) A member of a lower socioeconomic group historically classified by the wearing of black jumpers, black T-shirts decorated with designs including such bands as Led Zeppelin, The Doors and Nirvana or favourite drinks such as Jack Daniels or Jim Beam. Bogans often drive larger cars and are often referred to as petrolheads. Why do I think

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1100147609983860762004-11-10T23:23:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:55.996-05:00

Today I was cold, I needed a hat rather badly as my head was starting to feel numb. Luckily being NYC I only had to walk half a block to find a fold out table stacked with various warm fluffy things. I reached for this fuzzy red angora hat and as I did so a small asian guy popped up from under the table and begun to show me the wealth of goodies he had for me. With the angora hat in my hand he

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1100045204132010802004-11-09T17:57:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:55.922-05:00

Shock Horror! We all know that Kirk and Uhura had the first interracial kiss on network telly... Star Trek has always been good at taking a jab at the world around by turning our global concerns into galactic ones. You don't have to be a genius to see that. How come then in this the 21st century we are yet to see any Queers in space? We have seen aliens of all kinds, a plethora of lumpy heads and

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1099977590640110412004-11-09T01:19:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:55.847-05:00

Beam me up....Please. Vulcan's are in essence extremely Virgo. Real thinkers that try not to get too emotional about things. I on the other hand am a Pisces, I don't think at all and just get extremely emotional, perhaps this is why I surround myself with Virgo's, they can think for me and I can get all crazy ape bonkers emotional for them. Given my poor track record with Virgo's in the

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1099976777116811332004-11-08T22:17:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:55.785-05:00

Due to the severe lack of pea soup and tuna casserole arriving at my door in the arms of concerned friends, I take it that nobody actually reads this , or my friends are in fact bastards. Luckily my thin grip on reality has held fast. Not because of aforementioned comfort food or friends ( or should I say , lack thereof). No I owe my last weeks survival to the crew of NX - 01... Or the Enterprise

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1099576370948319442004-11-04T08:41:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:55.729-05:00

Don't get sad my Blue American's. Get focused and MAD. That is all I am going to say about yesterday...It's all been said and it isn't pretty. So... I am going to start a 'Bad Bush Beanie'. Instead of feeling sad and yukky I am going to knit my frustrations into a beanie. A true stitch and bitch. If you feel like watching some great streaming mini-docs and clips while you knit, check out

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1099409740778849992004-11-02T09:52:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:55.658-05:00

Why is that all my friends have real jobs? I am the only one I know who is self employed, it's a tad sucky because when I want to go and run around and have fun during the day I have to do it alone. Of course I could go to the Tea Lounge with the Mac laptop and lattes set, but they annoy me too. I am just jealous of course, I would love a lappy, especially a cool slim silver one to tap away on

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1099350123253449022004-11-01T18:00:00.000-05:002006-11-10T19:32:55.477-05:00

I haven’t written for a few days. You see I have taken like a duck to water, wallowing in self pity. Yes… Self pity. Poor, poor me, my ex has fallen in gooey love and I am doggy paddling in a shallow pool of murk. I know it’s shallow. I am fully aware that I can easily stand up and walk out of it if I really wanted to, but I don’t. That however is the essence of self pity, isn’t it. You know you

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1098972690883184192004-10-28T09:42:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:32:55.419-05:00

Last night I was channel surfing. Which for me consists of me moving a broken pair of rabbit ears around then straining my neck to see if I can see anything on the screen. At one point I could pick up some channel pretty clear. After finally figuring out that if I balanced the rabbit ears on top of the telly, with an antenna resting on the wall molding and a piece of gaffer tape holding

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1098805256300836622004-10-26T10:57:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:32:55.359-05:00

I love my ex girlfriend. When I see her I want to pick her up and squeeze her really tight. Once I might have said I want to wrap my hands around her neck and squeeze tight, but that's just one of those things you might think during the transition from Lovers to Friends. Now, however I have realised she is one of my favourite people on the planet and it has nothing to do with inlovedness. It's

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1098634628259263512004-10-24T13:00:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:32:55.295-05:00

Earlier in the week I had organised to have a spanking adventure. I have never taken part in such and activity but I was feeling that it was something I just had to do. I wanted to dress as a Catholic School Grrl for the part. Not to get spanked but to be the spanker. I decided I was going to be the Hall Monitor spanking the younger grrl for being bad. I even went so far as to create an Hall Pass

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1098390528365432352004-10-21T16:17:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:32:55.230-05:00

Once upon a time I thought that Sex was only good if you were in deep inlovedness. That Sex was a deal heavily laden with great amounts of emotion and spiritual importance. It was not that I had ever experienced mind-blowing Sex under these conditions, to the contrary, Sex has always been a little disappointing. Even when I thought I was ‘deeply’ in love. So I always felt as if I wasn’t in Love

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1098279939895935562004-10-20T09:39:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:32:55.175-05:00

It's a work day for me and I have to force myself to go to manhattan. Being your own boss can be great, but when you are a lazy cow like myself it's not such a good thing. I have this feeling I am made to be tied to a yoke and whipped into action. Alas I have no yoke and sadder still , I have no one to use a whip on me ( if you are interested in the position send me an email... I prefer a riding

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1098198328097729082004-10-19T11:05:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:32:55.118-05:00

Today I am taking the day off work. Not to do anything creative, but to mostly just mope about and wish that Meryl Streep was a lesbian and wanted to be my girlfriend.

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1098197246621487182004-10-19T09:47:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:32:55.058-05:00

Well I am such the anti-blog blogger that I cannot even get my arse to this site and write more than once every 6 months. I am going to try harder though. There is so much stuff to complain about. The interesting thing is that in the flesh world I am the optimist, the girl at the party with the jokes and elbow nudges, yes I am annoying. Optimistic but a pain in the bum I am sure. Here however, on

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6783083.post-1082063025346471572004-04-15T16:47:00.000-04:002006-11-10T19:32:54.958-05:00

I'm not a blogger. I do not have drinks with bloggers, they are not my creed. Yet I am drawn to start a blog so I can complain about them. Shall I put up some pictures of my cat. Yeah some relentless puddy pics of that furry bastard in a box or in the kitchen tearing the fuck out of my kitchen sponge. NO! yes I have them, but the world does not need to see ANYMORE. Don't get me started on

D.http://www.blogger.com/profile/10744652029362163242noreply@blogger.com0