Offend everyone equally.

It's all gone too far.
Kids sue schools because they aren't allowed to sing 'Holy Night'. Schools sue teachers for saying 'Happy Chanukah'. Kids sue each other over who who said 'Merry Christmas' in the hallway.
Perhaps to save all the confusion and ill will, we should just roll it all together into some slick, sick celebration that offends everyone equally.
This is my idea.