Peg Board Puzzle...

People get scared of using the word GOD. Because God has been stolen, and attached to some things very un-Godlike.
God is not judgment. God is not hatred.
God is not a figure, draped in white, lounging in a cloud, reaching out like E.T phoning home.
At least that is not my GOD.
God (for me) is a series of moments, that maybe fleeting or long-lasting (if I am lucky). God is that feeling I get when I experience something pure.

Last night I experienced so much 'God' that if there was a church for people like me, I would sign up to be a missionary.

It goes like this...

Firstly, it has to be explained that the company I shared last night with, is of the 'extraordinary' kind. You know, not of the regular variety.
I have to go off on a little tangent now, to explain myself fully, otherwise I will not be able to portray the evening in a way that it needs to be explained, or more precisely in the way I wish to explain it.

There is a virtual Peg Board Puzzle in my chest. And people, are like the pegs, that fit into those holes. Sometimes when I meet people, I hold that peg, survey the shape of it/them, and decide how to make it/them fit. I might have to shave off an edge or two, whittle away at some parts in an attempt to accommodate that shape, that person. Other times the shape that they hand me is totally out of whack with the holes of my internal pegboard, and , well... They are not going to be individuals that I carry around in the vessel that is 'me'.
But, then there is the other lucky peg holders. Those wonderfully syn-compatible (ok, I totally made that word up) people, that hand me who they are ( in colourful wood, non toxic paint) and presto. They fit, easy, snug. Beautifully.
It doesn't happen often, but there are times when that transaction is instant, and one of those holes in my chest, is all of a sudden filled with the energy and wonder of a truly awe-inspiring individual... And I feel... Well, just a little more complete ( *yes yes I know one should always be complete in themselves and not rely on anyone else for that kind of thing... Jus' Sayin' ).

So, this wonderfully shiny, colourful, amazing shape that has so recently entered the peg board of my chest. Took me out.
She took me to see Johnette Napolitano at Joes Pub.
This is where words will fail me...
J.N was another shape that helped fill my teenage angsty chest back in the late 80's. Filling it continually for many years after.

Needless to say, (but I will say it anyway) , I cried.
Yes, I silently wept with pure joy, by candlelight and red wine. Beside company who knew exactly why I was weeping and understood it totally. No words needed.
Johnette was a vehicle of God, all on her own with her guitar, singing notes that entered that peg board of mine, reverberating through old angst, into the new, then up and down my spine until there was nothing to do but cry.

When the spotlight dimmed, and we hit the streets, I swear my feet did not touch the ground.
Not through the streets of the East Side, not down to Delancy and not even over the Williamsburg Bridge. Intoxicated by the experience, further fueled by playing Jameson Bottle Relay across the East River.
All this and more happened last night...Under a moon that looked as if it were wearing a beret of midnight blue.

I had a Witness...( Thank you. You know who you are)

And I testify.